As if the stress of not having any work to do wasn’t enough: science now shows that it is actually possible to die of boredom.
But I’ll try not to think about that during endless hours trolling internet job sites ad nauseum… >yawn<
It’s been an entire week since I blogged. My life, flexible and unstructured though it may currently be, was waylaid by the failing health of my cat. But before you label me another pathetic single woman with a cat and click over to some blog full of relevance or breathless optimism, let me clarify.
1. I’m really a dog-person who’s taken in a large, dog-like cat.
2. I don’t equate pet problems with the emotional trauma of loved humans with health problems.
That said, it’s clear God gave us dominion over the animals, and asked Adam to name them. I think he’s pleased when we love and care for his creation, including our pets, though we should never put them before humans, who are created in God’s image. (Okay, enough with the disclaimers.)
Jerry Anderson is old. He developed some sudden health issues that required him to spend the night at the vet and put me on the path of preparing for the worst. (He’s home now, and fine, but probably won’t be for too much longer.) The whole point of this post is how we can be surprised by unforeseen storms that sometimes cross our Christian path and can paralyze us with fear and the weight of difficult decisions.
For me, though primarily content with single life, I felt the weight of being alone. I got advice from my sister, friends, and the vet. But to go to bed not knowing what I’d find the next morning - with no one to share the care and difficult decisions - I felt profoundly alone. And it felt like a shot across my bow, that in my season of feeling sidelined and without purpose there could be even more fear and loss. Why would God do that?
And I’m realizing that it’s because in the terrifying awareness of our aloneness, we clearly see the truth of it: life is too much to handle alone. We’re helpless, alone in a place where others can only encourage, but not participate. And in this place we can choose doggedly to continue on our own, or to throw out our arms in utter dependence on God. The harder life is, the greater our need. The greater our need, the greater our dependence on God.
That’s as far as I’ve gotten. I’m still waiting for whatever comes next.
The good news: “Scientists have concluded that men who sleep around are likely to have lower IQs.” Hah! Another scientific study that proves something we think we already knew!
“According to his theory, intelligent people are more likely to adopt what in evolutionary terms are new practices - to become ‘more evolved’.
Therefore, in the case of fidelity, men who cannot adapt and end up succumbing to temptation and cheating are likely to be more stupid.”
Oh, but wait. Because of course there’s the bad news. In some sort of unexplained correlation the same study also claims “that intelligent people are less likely to believe in God or hold conservative views.” Hey, science says so. And science is very intelligent, don’t forget.
“Dr Kanazawa’s theory holds that self-interested, conservative attitudes are primitive in evolutionary terms, while selfless, liberal views are more advanced and linked with intelligence.
Similarly, those who identified themselves as ‘not at all religious’ had an average IQ of 103, while those who saw themselves as ‘very religious’ had an average IQ of 97.
According to Dr Kanazawa, that is down to people who are smarter being more open to new ideas.”
Dr Kanazawa, just a scientist open to a new idea.
Since I was laid off my job at a church last June, people frequently ask me, “so where are you going to church now?” My short answer is that I’m taking a break from church. The longer answer is that I’m taking some time off from church in order to focus on my relationship with God.
So yesterday I went to The Getty with some friends. We specifically went to see the Rembrandt exhibit. We also wandered around the Impressionists, and had lunch on the outdoor patio overlooking the ocean. It was a spectacularly beautiful Sunday morning, following a Saturday rain storm.
Depending on your personality, growing your relationship with God may not mean more Bible reading and prayer time. If you’re a creative type, it may look more like going to the theater, an art museum, the beach. If you’re a techie, it may mean going to the U2 concert and admiring all the lights, speakers, media screens and stage effects. The point is, you can connect with God in places that feed your soul.
In some ways, church has become a disseminator of information. They’re great at explaining how you can grow your relationship with God IF… if you join a small group, if you go on a missions trip, if you serve in a ministry, if you read your Bible every day. And those things are all true. But sometimes to actually connect with God - spiritually, personally, to hear him speak - church is not the best place, simply because there are so many other people talking.
I’m not advocating skipping church to go to the beach every Sunday. We also need to connect and encourage one another in the body of Christ. But for a season - those spiritual deserts or valleys of shadow - give yourself permission to explore experiences that connect with God differently.
There seem to be lots of blogs providing the single, Christian female perspective on all things church and culture (see my sidebar for a few). Now some single, Christian guys are writing from the male perspective. They’re thoughtful, and wonderfully transparent (Top 5 Lines Christian Guys Dread to Hear,) and rather romantic (Lost in the Lord.)
Stop over there and give them some love.
I recently came across a blog that is: a) written by a self-admitted middle-aged female, b) very insightful, and c) well written. Frankly she had me at “a,” though I love her tagline “Diary of a Mad God Woman.”
Her recent post, Let No be No, considers Matthew 5:37 in light of funerals and the grieving process. At Christian funerals, we focus on the future - on reunions and eternal life and hope. And this is as it should be, as Paul reminds us in Thessalonians, we don’t grieve like those who have no hope. But the writer draws some interesting observations from a Jewish funeral she attended.
“Nobody expected the bereaved to put on a brave face or to be glad that their loved one was “in a better place”. Death had come, and it was real, and the grief was real, and the No – if not forever overwhelming – was certainly real now.
Generally speaking and with a few notable exceptions, we Christians aren’t very comfortable with grief. Taught as we are to look always for the ‘Yes’, we aren’t very good at navigating through the ‘No’, through all the deaths (both real and figurative) in our lives. Nor are we very good at walking honestly with others through the ‘No’ times in their lives. How many times in my life and ministry have I pushed people to say a ‘Yes’ they simply weren’t ready to say?”
Read the whole thing. Then see why she’s a “Mad God Woman.”
So on Tuesday I posted about waiting. And included a quote about waiting on God, and how if we can’t see the way forward, that “He accounts Himself responsible for all the results of keeping thee where thou art.”
Yesterday, heading out for a walk, I discovered a package on my front porch. Addressed to me, return address from Michigan, but no name. Opening the box, a piece of paper inside said “Surprise!” Beneath that, I peeled through layers of bubble wrap and found an envelope, with a card. The card said, “Got your back.” And inside, “Just so you know.” And a heart… and a signature: Jesus.
Oh, and five gift cards totaling $400.
I was - and am - surprised, amazed, overwhelmed, grateful, stunned, speechless, astonished, encouraged. I don’t know anyone in Michigan. Except, apparently, Jesus.
(BTW, to whomever allowed Jesus to fully inhabit your skin, you need to know that while the gift cards are incredibly appreciated, the card was EXACTLY the casual, personal language I needed to hear from him right now. So thank you especially for that.)
I’m not very good at waiting. I’m more of a “take action and make something happen” kind of person. Unfortunately, being unemployed isn’t really a position where you can make many demands. (Well, you can make them, but…)
Anyway, if you’re like me - maybe unemployed or for whatever reason stuck in an in-between place impatiently checking your watch - the following quote may be particularly meaningful.
“…wait upon God until He makes known His way. So long as the way is hidden, it is clear that there is not need of action, and that He accounts Himself responsible for all the results of keeping thee where thou art.” - Meyers
Since Valentine’s day is all about wine and roses and chocolates for romantically involved couples, it’s nice to know there’s something special for… the rest of us. Despair Inc. brings us Bittersweets® - The Valentine’s Candy for the Rest of Us.
“For most, there is no crueler day of the calendar year than that of Valentine’s Day. While a tiny fraction of the population can look forward to a holiday of wine and roses, poetry and song, the vast majority of us can anticipate a day of nausea and grimacing, trauma and grief. A day in which minutes seem like hours, and hours like days, as we reflect sorrowfully on yesteryear’s romantic indignities, today’s loneliness, and the unknowable but certain heartbreak that will be visited upon us repeatedly in the years to come
When cruelty and holidays collide, the weak-willed find solace in self-pity and comfort foods. And now, Despair Inc. is pleased to announce that we’ve combined BOTH into a radical new offering.
Introducing Bittersweets® - The Valentine’s Candy for the Rest of Us.
Like the ubiquitous candy conversation hearts, Bittersweets® are made of flavored, chalky-tasting sugar and sport a message on their face. But unlike other candy hearts, ours are stamped with bitter musings and mockeries perfectly suited to the dejected spirits of those who will spend the holiday alone, or wishing they were.”
The entire page is hilarious. My favorites are “WE HAD PLANS,” “LOSS LEADER” and “DORK MAGNET.” Gotta love despair. “Supplies are limited. But the pain that accompanies them may not be.”
(HT to my friend Mike at Church Tech Arts.)
If you’re someone involved in marketing or advertising, but are still a little skeptical about the value of social media, or you work for a boss who doesn’t see the practical value, this article may help convince them. A live data tracker follows numbers of people joining Twitter and Facebook, uploading videos, blogging, searching Google - every second. This graphic was from just five minutes of data tracking:
You can view (or show your boss) the live data tracker here. It’s time to get beyond the printed newsletter mailed (or emailed) to a finite client list.
