the view from her

It’s here. The end of a year and the start of a new one. The time we make new year’s resolutions, or at least talk about them. I originally wrote this post last year, and received some really positive response, so I’m reposting it again. With one very significant update.

We all know resolutions are notoriously hard to keep. So it’s helpful when others can help us think about them differently. For example, last year Author Tim Sanders suggested making 3 lists for 2011. Stop, start, and keep. It’s simple.

I made one resolution about 4 years ago, and I’ve been making the same one every year since and it has changed my life. It’s my best resolution.

I resolved to say “Yes” more often.

Sometimes it’s easy. You want to pay for my dinner? – Yes. Other times, it’s harder. You want me to speak to a group of college kids? – (gulp) Yes.

I probably need to clarify that this is not an excuse for all the codependent Millie Martyr’s of the world to continue taking on other people’s responsibilities, or not to enforce healthy boundaries, or to otherwise be a doormat. This is saying “yes” at times when you’re tired and would ordinarily just go home. Or saying “yes” to things that are completely outside your comfort zone, or that you have little interest in, or don’t know anything about.

I warn you… it’s radical. I actually live a fairly routine life. But I’ve been to Africa and Thailand because I said yes. I’ve seen things I never would have seen, I’ve taught classes, interviewed mayors, spoken at church, served on a university presidential search committee, made unexpected connections, hosted live-streaming interviews, earned unexpected money, and met the most interesting people – all because at some point further back I said “yes” to an insignificant-at-the-time opportunity.

This year, my friend Jen Taylor wrote a post about what happened to her when she said yes.

You should try it in 2012. You only have to say one word.

Things I love about the Christmas season:
- working on my computer in the evenings by twinkly Christmas tree light.
- the smell of fresh pine
- Christmas at Eastside, my terrific job there and the incredible church family I get to serve with, eat with, hang with at 9 Christmas services.
- Peppermint Bark.
-Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe-Joes (at about $2.99 – considerably cheaper than the peppermint bark).
- Flannel sheets.
- Mittens, not gloves.
- The Vince Guaraldi Christmas album.
- Starbuck’s Cinnamon Dolce Latte.
- Christmas cards in the mail.
- The movie Elf. And Christmas Vacation.
- This Harry Connick Christmas album.
- Kettle Korn, when you can get it.
- In southern California, the Christmas Boat Parade.
- My own killer butter rum cake. It’s the best. Ask anyone.
- Conversations with people at the mall who would never otherwise talk to you.
- A fire in the fireplace.
- Hot chocolate with Amaretto.
- The hope inherent in Christmas, that “…All shall be well and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well…”

Earlier this week I had the pleasure of spending an afternoon with Greg Richardson, a Twitter friend, and learning a little about brewing beer. I posted my perspective on the experience here.

Greg recently posted the other side of the story, Craft Brewing for Wine Lovers.

“I got together with my friend Jan recently at a craft brewery in Orange County. Jan is a wine lover, and the first time we met was her introduction to craft brewing. I think that might have been the first time she had finished an entire pint of beer, which was something of a revelation to her. Now we have found a common goal of exploring craft brewing from the point of view of a wine lover, while researching Southern California craft breweries.”

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Yesterday I spent a rainy afternoon with someone I barely know in a local brewery. Through the marvelous connectivity of the internet (who says social media is isolating or artificial?), I met Greg Richardson, aka the Strategic Monk to learn a little more about brewing beer. He claims monasteries used to brew their own beer as a means of support. I have no idea if that’s true, knowing absolutely nothing about beer, or monasteries for that matter. He also claims beer goes back further than wine, which is pretty old considering wine is talked about a lot in the Bible.

I met Greg at a Tweet-up after the Sticky Teams conference. FYI: a “tweet-up” is when people who have only conversed via Twitter actually meet in person at a designated location. Dawn Carter, a sort of social media hub who connects people she meets to each other, introduced me to Greg. They were both very excited about something I’d never heard of: beer tasting.

I grew up Baptist in the Bible Belt, and we just never had alcohol around the house. So I was well into my adult years before I learned some of the major distinctions of wine (red grapes=red wine, white grapes=white wine…who knew?) Little by little I learned about notes and undertones and finishes. Turns out it’s much the same with beer. I tried a really dark beer with a chocolaty flavor. It was delish.

Greg is currently conducting research for his 2012 Craft Brewery Pilgrimage. You can join him in his research – drink some unusual beer, meet some interesting people – a great way to spend an afternoon.

The way I see it, there are a couple of ways to think about it.

1.: The Carl’s Junior viewpoint (2007):
“Don’t bother me… I’m eating.”

2.: from George Herbert (1593 – 1633):
“Thou that hast given so much to me, give one thing more–a grateful heart.”

I had the opportunity to attend the Sticky Teams conference this week. Here are some of my favorite points from the main speakers:

[In churches] “We confuse connecting people with being friendly. It’s hard to assimilate new connections into old relationships.” ~ Larry Osborne

“You can have change without growth. But you can’t have growth without change. And you can’t have change without pain.”
“The Gospel is all about change.”
“We’re equipped with the gifts of grace needed to fulfill the calling God put on our lives.”
~ Gene Appel

“The Church is Plan A for our cities. There is no Plan B.”
“Learn to embrace ‘last’ as your first choice.”
~ Chris Brown

“The most important day of your ministry (or marriage) is not the first day, it’s the last day.”
“If you want to kill yourself for the Gospel, don’t get married!” [A great perspective on 1 Corinthians 7:32-35.]
~ Mark Driscoll

USA Today recently posted an interesting column called The Truth About Evangelicals. Written by “as left wing a Democrat as they come,” the article generally critiques defining mainstream Evangelicals by their colorful extremes (i.e John Hagee).

Joel Hunter, an Orlando megachurch pastor puts it this way:

“The media have been too eager to feature a simpleton image of evangelicals. Our part of the faith community is, on the whole, intelligent, accepting of diversity, and wanting the best practical solutions for the common good.”

This last sentence is especially interesting to me as we near the beginning of yet another election year. Because at their core, elections are primarily about voting for someone with “the best practical solutions for the common good.” Radio host Hugh Hewitt once commented that if Catholics, Mormons, and Christians could put aside faith differences and recognize that they share the same values, they could create a voting bloc with some real power.

I think we confuse voting for our values with voting for our faith. Would a President Mitt Romney promote Mormonism? Possibly. Would it also put Mormonism under incredible scrutiny? Probably. I’m old enough to remember my Baptist parents’ horror at the thought of a Catholic John F. Kennedy in the White House. Yet in hindsight, America survived those years of a “different faith” influence just fine. Religious freedom is one of our founding values after all.

It’s nearing the end of September. One year from now we’ll be neck-deep in mud-slinging, negative campaign ads, hyperbole and wild misrepresentations by both parties. To Christians who define their faith as being followers of Christ I say: Remember that your faith informs your values, but you are not voting for your faith. Vote your values and for the candidate who most closely shares them. (To be clear, I’m not an advocate for Romney. He’s just the obvious example.)

Our duty in this country – and as followers of Christ – is to vote for solutions that improve the common good. Not just the Christian good.

In creating and nurturing an amazing corporate culture, Fast Company reports Method’s “method” lies in distilling their purpose into these five core values:

• Keep Method weird
• What would MacGyver do
• Innovate, don’t imitate
• Collaborate like crazy
• Care

Translated for the Church:
• Find your unique personality
• WWJD (the obvious answer, but… what if we really asked that in every situation?)
• You’re not Saddleback or Willow Creek – be who you are
• Collaboration, not competition (Can churches collaborate? They should.)
• Care (see point 2, above)

(via Stan Endicott)

The Center For Church Communications is launching a cool new resource for churches called “OUTSPOKEN – Conversations on Church Communications.”

The book, which releases this Thursday, Sept. 15 at Story in Chicago, features perspectives from more than 60 church communications pros. “Outspoken covers everything from general marketing to writing, outreach to design, leadership to websites,” so it will be an invaluable resource for churches all across the country who are passionate to be more effective in their communications.

You can get a free preview here.

Researchers hail recent “Scientific Advances on Contraceptive for Men,” though they’re still not quite sure they meet the “stringent safety and effectiveness criteria that female methods do.” Also, they’re still not sure men will actually use them. Hmm. Now why do you suppose that is?

Let’s review. Women used to have relationship power. Back in the day, a man had to court a woman, make known his intentions, and stake his reputation on marriage for the privilege of a woman’s romantic favors. Now, men can have sex with any or every woman they choose. Wait… why is that? Oh yes, because women were liberated in the 60s. We were freed from the onerous burden of a man’s commitment. (Yeah, who needs that?)

Supposedly, birth control aided our liberation. Now both men and women could have all the uncommitted sex they wanted without worrying about the possibility of creating children together. Except that, in the case of an unexpected pregnancy, only one person in the relationship was pregnant. To see it one way, now men didn’t have to be either committed, or responsible.

Which kind of explains why science has been working on a product since at least the 70s that still won’t be out for 10-12 years. That’s almost 50 years. It’s a good thing that group wasn’t working in technology – we’d all still be using pencils. Assuming a high percentage of scientists are men, one begins to suspect a lack of motivation.

Why would a man ever want to use male birth control? Though I’ve intentionally been using broad generalities, in today’s culture of course there are exceptions. There are women who enjoy uncommitted promiscuity or who try to trap a man by getting pregnant. There are men who accept responsibility for fathering a child, and see male birth control as a way of owning that responsibility. There are lots of reasons people have sex: loneliness, romance, love, manipulation, procreation or recreation – to name a few. Sex is a marketing tool, both trivialized and idealized.

I guess it’s like G.K. Chesterton said (with considerable foresight, since he died in 1936): “They insist on talking about Birth Control when they mean less birth and no control.”