the view from her

I was having lunch with a friend the other day, and we were discussing living and working in the new economy. As many of you know, I was laid off a full-time job over a year ago, and have been making ends meet through the benevolence of friends and a lot of freelance writing.

I was ruefully recounting the “glitches” in my resume over the past couple of years. Then, perspective prevailed. Millions of people are smack in the middle of a major resume glitch right now. The “Great Recession” is changing the face of the work place and its work force, and these changes will have lasting impact for the next several years. HR directors will look at this period - from 2007 until 2012 or so - and unilaterally understand the necessity of whatever work you did (or didn’t do) during that time frame.

“In fact,” my friend added thoughtfully, “It may be the person with no gap on their resume who will be at a disadvantage. They won’t have learned any new skills, figured out new solutions.”

This is another example of the upside/down-ness of the new economy. So now I’m rethinking how I can present my resume “glitches” as demonstrated abilities: flexibility, resourcefulness, creativity, diversified skills, adaptability, initiative. In today’s world, you can turn patchwork, piecemeal work to an advantage.

The visual input we receive every day about who women are or should be is overwhelming. The messages we receive in our churches are much more subtle, but often still difficult for many. How can a woman confidently find her unique identity in the flood of conflicting images? The following is a re:view of a previously-written post about the reality of “other” women.
—————————————————————————————————————————————-
I’m constantly intrigued by the various portrayals of women in our culture. It appears to me that - in culture - there are three very narrow categories for women:
1. Hyper-sexualized women - the stick-thin Barbie dolls with enormous breasts. They seem to exist mostly as objects of men’s pleasure or fantasy.
2. Feminism - Women are the same as men, so men are unnecessary.
3. TV charicatures - married, usually smart but leading a pointless life with a juvenile, incompetent husband.

Then there are those categories better-known in Christian circles:
4. The Proverbs 31 woman - Married to a high school sweetheart, homeschools her kids, bakes, sews, grows vegetables, leads a women’s Bible study and secretly wears an “S” under her shirt.
5. Women who are nothing without a man. The helpmeet, the lonely rib, the half-person whom marriage makes into a whole.

That’s not criticism of the last two. I value the varied creative gifts of women in whole marriages. But I wonder if there isn’t another category, an “other,” less defined, certainly less stereotyped category, made up of seemingly “average” women who just try every day to live a life that pleases God. It may include women who cross over from the categories above. The “other” category understands the truth inherent in all five.

“Other” is both young and old, because age is irrelevant when you’re comfortable with the woman God created you to be. “Other” refuses to be reduced to an object, or a charicature, because she understands that sexuality isn’t what makes her attractive. “Other” is confident enough to be feminine, remembering her equality in God’s image, and respecting men for the same reason. “Other” recognizes the God-given gifts that are uniquely hers, and celebrates the diversity of women’s abilities. And “Other” acknowledges that we all must use these abilities in the individual life to which God has called each one of us - married or single, young or old, career or homemaker, providing encouragement to all in their respective journeys.

I actually know a lot of “other” women. I’ll bet you do, too.

I’ve done a lot of job hunting over the last year. With the national unemployment rate near 10%, and closer to 14% in California, there are lots of people giving advice to job-seekers on this subject. Clearly it’s a buyer’s market. Yet the poor employers bemoan their fate, reviewing 300-400 applications for one job and no good way to distinguish between them.

Well, I regularly check between 15-20 internet job sites, follow job-tweeters on Twitter, and have joined job groups on LinkedIn. And I’ve got some advice for you “employee seekers.” Here are five ways you may actually be shutting out the perfect applicant.

1. Require resumes to be posted in text. Frankly, if you’re looking through 300 nondescript, intentionally depersonalized documents,that’s just… dumb. Let applicants upload PDFs and see more of their personality: formal, informal, creative, unusual, professional, careless or just plain dull. Layout is an obvious and very helpful way to distinguish between resumes. For example, from my resume you could tell I’m clever and creative as well as extremely qualified. And now you’re just a little bit curious… aren’t you?

2. Insist - in all caps, of course - SALARY HISTORY IS REQUIRED TO BE CONSIDERED for the position, without posting your own salary range. We get that you’re looking to eliminate some of those text documents and numbers help, but here’s the thing. You could shut out the perfect, most qualified, best-fit applicant based on a cursory glance at the numbers. And hello - numbers are the most flexible part of the equation at this point. Plus, posting a salary range allows potential applicants to opt out, saving time and trouble for both of us.

3. Cloak yourself in absolute anonymity. Provide no contact information - web site, email, or phone number, because of course you want nothing from us except our qualifications. And salary history. But again, while you may not want to answer calls about where you are in the process, you could be missing out on informative conversations and perceptive questions that might help bring someone to your attention - positively or negatively.

4. Never - ever - communicate with applicants. You’re incredibly busy and couldn’t possibly acknowledge all 300 of them. And we just love sitting at home sending resumes out into the ether and never knowing what happens to them. But remember, you posted a job and invited people to apply. At the absolute minimum, common courtesy would suggest you send an email notifying applicants when the position has been filled. It’s not that hard - you’re getting most applications by email anyway. I could easily help you set that up. If you had my resume you’d know that.

5. Honestly, I could only think of four. Try to think of it as doing more with less.

The Exponent, a blog for and about Mormon women, had a very interesting post last week called “Women Judges, Women’s Presence: How the Inclusion of Women Changes Things,” which discussed Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan, the subtle influence of a woman’s presence, and the potential correlation to women in a faith community.
.
Referring to an NPR article, How Women Changed The High Court … And Didn’t, the writer pulls out a remarkable observation:

“But the point I wanted to focus on was this: the reporter addresses the question of whether female judges judge differently than male judges. A study of more than 7000 decisions shows that men and women do not judge differently – except in one area: sex discrimination. Women judges are 10% more likely to rule in favor of the plaintiff.

Likewise, in three judge panels which contain at least one women, the men were 15% more likely to rule in favor of the sex discrimination plaintiff than on three judge panels which contain only men.

That last statistic was the most startling to me. A woman judge’s mere presence – just her presence – influences the male judges decisions in this area.”

Apparently, a woman’s mere presence is enough to encourage the consideration of decisions in a different way. The author goes on to wonder how this might affect the administrative meetings of her church, an interesting consideration for the Evangelical church as well, in which women are frequently excluded from key leadership decisions. We’ve already noticed how that played out on Wall Street. Culture is recognizing the value of gender balance. Isn’t it about time the Church - men and women sharing the image of God - did too?

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but people are pretty darn serious about using chopsticks. Why is that, exactly? I was recently reminded of a post I previously wrote on this topic and decided to give it a little re:view.
—————————————————————————————————————————————-
The other day at work I was in a meeting that went a little long. So they brought in lunch - some nice Chinese food. Passed out napkins and those little packets of soy sauce, and…chopsticks. What the heck is the deal with people and chopsticks?

Everyone so casually snaps them apart and begins whisking them back and forth, brushing off - what? Splinters? This from people who would send back a restaurant fork because it had a bent tine. They continue with whatever they were talking about, while oh so casually poking around their food and gesturing with their chopsticks. Casualness that verges on indifference seems to be very important in the flaunting of chopstick proficiency. Of course, that’s only my perspective, and I grew up in Iowa where the utensils of choice were the little plastic ears of corn with the prongs that you stuck in the ends of your corn-on-the-cob. So it’s very possible I’m just uncultured. And bitter.

ME: Are there any forks?
CHORUS: Ohhhh… don’t you use chopsticks? (This, very sympathetically, while deftly tweezing a glob of rice into their mouths.) The answer of course, is, “No.” (Because I live in America where we’ve used forks and knives and corn cob prongs for more than 200 years.)

I have, however, been to Africa, where they eat everything with their fingers. I notice that particular cultural custom hasn’t particularly gone mainstream here. But it may be possible I’m not the only one suffering from chopstick insecurity.

ME: Excuse me… I’ll be right back. I’m going to go get a fork.
CHORUS (well, 3 others): Ooooh… would you bring me one?

For those of you who, like me, are at present journeying through an unmapped valley toward an unknown destination, I share this encouragement. A friend gave me a book of Puritan prayers and devotions by the above title this weekend. And while “vision” is a word that gets thrown about in all sorts of leadership contexts, I thought the following was a different and very moving perspective.

The Valley of Vision
LORD, high and holy, meek and lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox
. . . that the way down is the way up,
. . . that to be low is to be high
. . . that the broken heart is the healed heart,
. . . that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
. . . that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
. . . that to have nothing is to possess all,
. . . that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
. . . that to give is to receive,
. . . that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley.

It’s been a tough year here in America - a great recession, wacky politicians, and an epic oil “spill.” I repost and update this list every year because I think it’s easy to forget many of the simple, yet important reasons why America is still a great place to live. So here you go - reasons I love living in the U.S.A. on our 234th birthday:

1. The 4th of July. Barbecue, parades, sparklers, fireworks.
2. We have the prettiest flag.
3. You can drive anywhere without asking permission. Even across state lines. And stay as long as you want.
4. Blue jeans.
5. You can love or hate books like The Shack, or The God Delusion, but they’re not forbidden.
6. We have real cowboys.
7. And Indians.
8. You can freely mock the President. I think we take that for granted.
9. The Freedom of Information Act. Our government will voluntarily give you information about itself.
10. You can send a letter to any one of over 111 million homes, and it will be delivered to precisely the right one in only about two days, for just 44 cents.
11. New England clam chowder.
12. Alaska and Hawaii.
13. You can have as many children as you want.
14. Libraries. All the books you can read - 6 at a time - for free.
15. Thanksgiving Day.
16. The Bill of Rights.
17. You can paint your house any color you want. (Unless of course you live in a California homeowner’s association.)
18. Baseball.
19. An efficient sewage system. Pretty sure we take that for granted.
20. Microsoft and Apple. (Um… you’re welcome.)
22. Jazz.
23. Gospel music.
24. Rock ‘n Roll.
25. Water you can drink right out of the faucet.
26. An orderly election process and the peaceful transfer of power.
27. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…”

Last weekend, Andrew Marin and friends from the Marin Foundation intentionally spent time at the Chicago 2010 Gay Pride Parade. You might not guess it but Andrew, author of Love is an Orientation, is a conservative Christian determined to build a bridge between Christians and the gay community. The team wore t-shirts that simply said, “I’m sorry,” and carried posters with variations on the message “I’m sorry for how the church has hurt you.”

Andrew says, “The point was to talk, engage, apologize, demonstrate what true reconciliation looks like amongst our diverse group all the way to the broader community.”

I admit, this picture made me a little uncomfortable. Until I read the story about how it happened. Nathan, Director of Pastoral Care at the Marin Foundation, wrote I hugged a man in his underwear. And I am proud. that tells the amazing story.

These stories happen over and over. They’re the stories of men and women loved by God who are moved when his love is demonstrated as an action by real people. Not a conditional love. Not a “love the sinner/hate the sin” abstract, impersonal “love.” But a real, caring, engaged love demonstrated in something as simple as a hug.

It’s irresistible.

Photo Credit: Michelle at maladjustedmedia.com

Ironically, I have a new addition to last week’s list. While visiting a church recently, (I’ll not say when or where) I heard a message in which the pastor spoke from Ephesians 3:20.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”…

The pastor said this was personally a favorite verse of his, and possibly one of the most profound verses in the Bible. Clearly God wants to do more that we can ever imagine!

Umm… what? That verse is not even a complete sentence. (Please note that it ends in a comma, not a period - a dead giveaway.) Okay, I apologize for the sarcasm, though I suggest the continued need to bring your Bible to church with you.

The context is Paul’s excitement that the Gentiles are heirs with Israel, sharing in the promise of Christ. He then prays that out of God’s incredible riches we will be strengthened through his Spirit. That we’ll be rooted and established in love, and know how wide and long and high and deep Christ’s love is, and overflow with the fullness of God. And when that happens - in ways we can’t imagine or foresee - we will acknowledge it is his power within us and give him the glory.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

I think humans in general have a habit of condensing thoughts into little catchy phrases. It makes them easier to remember if we can fit them on, say… a bumper sticker. “Christians aren’t perfect… just forgiven.” So, I suppose it’s understandable that we can do the same with Scripture. But much like the secret to real estate is supposedly “Location. Location. Location,” the secret to understanding the Bible is “Context. Context. Context.”

While the following wouldn’t all fit on a bumper sticker, I think sometimes we throw them around - often out of context - in much the same way. Here are a few of my favorites.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
This is one of my favorites. Because it’s written to the thousands of people who have been deported to exile in Babylon. And Jeremiah is actually telling them to get used to it - they’ll be there 70 years. Thaaaat’s great. It’s miserable, and it’s not getting better, at least not for awhile. Yes, this verse is still full of the comfort of God’s promise today, but His planning is often more long-range than ours.

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14
I’m almost afraid to mention this one for fear of incurring the wrath of the National Day of Prayer folk. This verse comes right after the construction and dedication of the temple. And the glory of the Lord fills the temple. The next verse continues, “Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.” “This place” being the Temple. The land is Israel, and while we should always pray for our country and its leaders, God is not talking about America here.

“They’ll know we are christians by our love.”
Great. Be more generally loving - easy. I think this must come from John 13:35. “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Technically, the saying should be: “They’ll know we are Christians by our love for each other.” Which, being so specific, is much harder. An interesting distinction that seems especially relevant to many of the discussions happening in the Church today.

“Love the sinner - hate the sin.”
Okay, technically this isn’t a verse, it’s more of bumper sticker. But if you look carefully, Jesus never said to “love the sinner but hate the sin.” He did say to love the sinner. But he was pretty clear you should hate your own sin.

Are there others?